Happy New Year

Right now, I'm a little sad because this New Years is sort of dry. My family just got done moving into an apartment. I'm exhausted. Worst of all, my fiance isn't here. What happened to the days of staying out all night, laying on a blanket outside, looking at the stars, throwing bottle rockets, and laughing until my stomach hurt? Once, when I was a child I watched the news with my parents on New Years Eve, and the anchorwoman said how people would make as much noise as possible when the New Year rolled around, so I took pots and pans out of our cabinets and banged them to celebrate. Now, I feel old, dry, and sad. I'll probably be asleep when 2010 makes her debut. Happy New Year.

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married...

There are days when I despise wedding planning! It's so hard, and I feel like I am trying to please everyone; but, then there are days when I love it. I'm glad now that I kept the wedding in June and at the beach. It feels comfortable and natural. I feel like I have so much time to make it how I want it - a day all about me! lol. Seriously, that's what it is, isn't it? A day about the bride, and it should be. Because after that, I'll live to serve my family. That's how my mom is. She lives to serve everyone and most likely I will too. So my wedding day, June 26, 2010, is going to be selfish. Watch out! A bridezilla in the making! muahahaha!

Seriously though. Today I could not stop looking at my wedding dress, and I played with my veil. I thought about putting the dress on again, but I was afraid of seeming too eccentric. lol. I am so excited. I have my second wind. I hope to book the florist this week and look at the rental equipment. This holiday hasn't been the best, but this is my ray of sunshine. It makes me happy to think about my wedding day. It's going to be wonderful and not just because it's selfish or because it's a great party, but because I am marrying the only man I am willing to spend the rest of my life with. And that's why I want to make it a wonderful day - the perfect day to start our lives off with.

Last day in Grand Isle

Today was my last day in Grand Isle. I'm going to miss everyone there, especially the children. It's kinda funny, because when I first got there I semi-joked about not liking children. I think I didn't like them at first because I was overwhelmed by so many of them, but soon I grew used to them and loved them. Also today, my fiance preached at a church that is looking at him to be pastor. He loves preaching. He actually ran from the calling for a long time, but now he loves it - especially knowing he has a chance. Still, we can't help but sit and wonder as he waits if he'll get it. If he doesn't, we'll know it's God's will but I still think we'll be a little disappointed. They've heard him preach three times now, and they have treated us like family. We love them and it would feel cruel if they said no, but God has a plan. We just have to have faith. So now, we are playing the waiting game.

I am venturing forth with the wedding planning. I'm thinking about changing the location from a beach wedding to a little park in Tim's hometown where we used to hang out. It has special memories attached to it. I'm still not sure. I'll update more on wedding stuff later. Have a good day!

Big Ball of Rubber Bands

I like to scroll through pictures on facebook. Not just my pictures, but everyone's pictures. Even people I hardly talk to. I look through mine and they look different from the others' pictures. Maybe because I know myself. I've never felt like I've had a lot of friends. I suppose I do, but I've always pretty much kept to myself. I don't go out a lot. I'm not the life of the party. I don't like to be around large groups of people at once. Actually, I'd prefer one on one time to anything, which makes choosing really hard. I think I've been oblivious to what people have really thought about me until lately, which I think I can probably guess now. They probably think I'm careless, forgetful, and wishy-washy and I am, because I'm always looking for the easiest way and the best solution. I'd like to say I am resourceful, carefree, and spontaneous. ha! I think I am also a people pleaser and I really don't want anyone to think badly of me, but they do. They must, I'm sure. Why all this reflection? I have no idea. Maybe because I feel really alone right now. Wow! What a pity party I have here. So here is my life. It's a big ball of rubber bands, because there's so much to it, and it's all tangled and confusing. Plus, I just bounce along. Someone close says I'm always like, "Lalalalala, I'm Kendall!" Big ball of Rubber Bands! You gotta love the alliteration!

Miss Kendall, why you got holes all over your face?

I substituted at school today. I had 4th and 5th grade until 2pm, and 7th grade until 3:13. I always dread middle school. That's just such an awkward phase for anyone. I hated middle school when I was a kid. It was the worst! I was chunky, I couldn't see well; and worst of all, I had horrible acne! A pound of Acutane, a year of basketball, a couple of contacts, and a few years later, I was all better, leaving my middle school days behind and looking forward to what was ahead. But, I have a few souvenirs from those days that I'll carry around forever. Those being the scars all over my face. Really, I completely forgot about them. They just became something I lived with. They aren't that bad. Or so I thought until a seventh grader looked up at me and said, "Miss Kendall, why you got holes all over your face?" I turned a bright red I think. I just made a joke about it, and the kids around the room yelled at him for being so rude. I should probably always be conscious of the scars since I have been asked that question over a dozen times. Sometimes, the scars are referred to as "holes," sometimes as "dimples," sometimes as "scars," and sometimes as "marks;" but, no matter how they ask, it always makes me feel ugly and I am always too baffled to really answer. I'm better now though. Nothing my sweet fiance couldn't fix. Anyway, that's my snipit for the day. Peace.